I'm Not Gay Or Nothing, But... - Chance Quartercum (1955) - Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3QSZpmUxNg&list=PLDlrFIMRGUFzNArwsEMTMBTHh8Gd7L2rx
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQme0kWEHNA&list=PLDlrFIMRGUFzgLQ-mwG8xdTgp6rDF2yeP


[Verse]
Ooo loddy dee
Before I leaned over to kiss my wife goodnight
I told her something she might not like
She looked at me with a grimace
I said Please dismiss being a bitch for just a minute and just listen to what I have to say
So she reached for her large club under the bed and told me
"go on ahead"
I said to her
For the longest time around the house things have gone missing
Because I wedged them all deep inside my asshole want to see
(What!?!)
Hear me out now

[Chorus]
Babe, I'm not gay or nothin but
I sure do love shoving things up my ass
that's right
I would call it a sport
Uugggh!
A secret challenge of sorts
Oh Uugggghh!
I have done irreparable rectal damage to my lower intestine of course
(Ah! Bleeding!)
Stop swinging that club at me and listen
I'm not gay or nothin
I just love shoving things
up my ass!

[Verse]
All the food I buy
Paid a visit up my big brown eye
cucumbers, eggplant and frankfurters oh my
I will not deny they have all been jammed up my back door cavity
Your mother caught me in the grocery section one day so I said can you give me a hand Joanna
With this banana insertion
I know she is blind in both eyes
That's why she wasn't surprised to see me hiding the produce in my behind but
Hey, Hey, Hey
Let me finish my confession
Before you teach me a lesson

[Chorus]
Babe, I'm not gay or nothin but
I sure do love shoving things
Up my ass
You might call me a sicko or
Some kind of twisted weirdo
(Meeeeooooow)
Yes, that's the cat trying to escape my ass whole
stop trying to break down the bathroom door
I am shitting them out now
Oh, Please, listen to meee
I'm not gay I just love shoving things
up my ass!

[Break]

[Bridge]
Like Your Grandmother's pearls
up my ass
And Your father's antique pocket watch
up my ass
Even That ugly vase you bought when I told you I don't like it
Up my ass
The clicker, what we ate last night for dinner
the soap, your wedding ring, a gerbil that corkscrew, even the beard of a
Hassidic Jew
I just love shoving things up my
ASS!

[Chorus]
Babe, I'm not gay or nothin but
I sure do love shoving things
Up my ass
You might call me a sicko or
Some kind of twisted weirdo
(Meeeeooooow)
Yes, that's the cat trying to escape my ass whole
stop trying to break down the bathroom door
I am shitting them out now
Oh, Please, listen to meee
I'm not gay or nothing of the sort
I just love shoving things
up my ass!

[Chorus]
Babe, I'm not gay or nothin but
I sure do love shoving things
Its my keister wallet
Please don't give me a wallop
Its my sphincter safe
My special hide away place
Stop, please don't kill me baby
Have some of my assorted chocolate
and calm down
I'm telling ya
I'm not gay or nothing like that
I just love shoving things
up my ass!
I have to confess
I am having a lot of fun
Shoving things up my ass!
Like my tooth brush
Oh wait its yours

[Instrumental Outro]
I love
Shoving things up
My ass
But, I'm not gay